This morning after having sessions with two of my beloved coaching clients, I saw a VERY clear message. It seems like many of you might be going through this same thing… right now.
Today was a VERY strong reminder that releasing expectations of others allows us to be SO much happier.
I will go into more depth on how this works in a minute so if you’re intrigued… just stick with me.
We all have expectations built into our lives;
the things we expect of ourselves,
the things that we expect of others &
the things that others expect of us.
Our choices and feelings are affected by the expectations that others place on us. Our relationships are affected by the judgments that we place on others due to the expectations that we’ve placed on them also.
Wheeeeewww….was that heavy?! For some it might have been. Please take a moment to read that once more; it’s VERY important.
Because if that feels too hard for you, you may not be ready for this much clarity or depth, and that’s OK.
I want to take a moment to say that there is no judgement here; only observation and a chance for more clarity.
My hope is that after reading this you’ll feel more aware of the expectations in your life, be able to decide what you want to keep, and what you want to release.
So, if you’re ready, let’s play with this idea of “expectations”. Let’s first start with what “expectation” actually means.
The Definition of Expectation:
A strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future, or a belief that someone will or should achieve something.
NOTE: I would like to also add to that definition : a belief that someone will or should do something for us or for someone else.
What benefits are there of having expectations?
Do you think that by having expectations of yourself it will allow you to reach higher, work harder, succeed more or be happier?
Do you think that by having expectations of others, you’ll able to guide others to reach higher, work harder, succeed more or be happier?
Maybe by doing what others expect of you allows you to gaining approval, acceptance, belonging or have personal meaning? Maybe the expectations that you have of others is the easiest way to define the boundaries in which you need others to treat you and how you’ve emotionally survived up to this point.
Have you ever lived a day without expectation?
Have you ever thought about it? Free from guilt. Free from disappointment. Free from frustration of other people’s actions and definitions.
What do you think that would feel like? How differently do you think people would react to you? How differently would you act towards others? How stronger would your relationships be if everything someone did for you was a pleasant surprise?
Look at the expectations that you may have on yourself.
What achievements do you expect from yourself and in what time frame? What expectations do you have on your body? How you allow yourself to feel or not to feel. To cry or to not cry. To honor or to not honor yourself. Ask yourself: Are these expectations fair? Are they currently serving my life? Do they cause deep fulfillment or are they causing disappointment?
Look at the expectations that you have of your friends, acquaintances, and your loved ones. Are they fair? Are they currently serving the relationships that you have with that person? Do they cause peace or do they cause resentment and frustration?
Look at the choices you make because of the expectations that others place on you. Do they make you feel supported, more encouraged and fulfilled? Or do they leave you drained and resistant to that person holding the expectation over you?
Do they cause you to question your own path and your own personal value? Do those expectations leave you feeling drained and judged when you can’t live up to them. Do you feel like a failure or like your not good enough?
By answering the questions above for yourself, you’ll undoubtedly see the benefit of releasing the expectations that you have on yourself and on others. The expectations that are no longer serving you or your relationships.
You’ll see the benefit of releasing the desire to please others and hopefully start honoring yourself more in the process.
This is a BIG topic. I know! I dare say that expectations affect everyone in some way.
These questions are only the beginning and it can be a very emotional yet HEALING road to walk down.
I’ve held many of my clients through this. It takes time, some tears, a lot of releasing and the ability for my clients to stay in a place of non-judgement, have compassion, and unconditional love for oneself.
If you would like support while moving through releasing the expectations in your own life, I would LOVE to be that support system for you. I would LOVE to hold that sacred space for you to heal and feel empowered again or maybe even for the first time.
If that interests you, you can start by seeing if I’m a good fit for you during a
FREE 20min. Consult with me.
One Final Question…..
What is one expectation that you would like to release today and why? Please share in the comment section below.